Ouch! I never expected my renewed attendance at evangelism to reveal so much to me about myself. It seems like each week brings a new lesson in humility, a new exposure of weakness, a new need for sandpaper! It’s becoming more and more obvious that if anyone is going to be brought to Christ through my ministry it will be purely by His intervening grace. (At least I won’t be tempted to boast!)
This week I had even more reason than usual to be thankful that God has chosen the foolish and weak things of the world. We had switched evangelism to Friday evening because of the heat wave (the thermometer in my bedroom read 95 degrees) and also hoping Angi and Ovidiu would be able to come after they got off work at their new jobs. (Turns out their bodies are still recovering from the shock of 10-hour workdays at the factory.) Right before going out, both Tim and I separately had received distressing information about two completely different issues that was fighting for our attention and making us feel scattered in my case and down in his. So right from the start we were weak.
The park was absolutely humming with people. One reason was that August 15 is a major religious holiday, “Sfanta Maria,” which celebrates Mary, the mother of Jesus’s departure from this life. Orthodox people believe that Mary died, but was resurrected and like Christ, her tomb is empty. Anyway, “Sfanta Maria,” is a day when people make pilgrimages to various monastaries to seek healings and divine blessing upon pregnancies, etc. It is also a very big socializing day, because it is the name day for all people with names based on Mary and those people prepare special meals, have guests and receive gifts.
The second reason the park was so full is that few people can afford air conditioning in Romania, so they wisely flee their oven-like apartments to enjoy a least a breath of cooler breeze outside. So when we arrived at the park, old men were sitting in jovial groups playing chess, ladies were involved in animated conversations, the fountain was going full force and rollerblading teens were trying to kill themselves. We even saw a couple of ladies from our congregation with their kids and stopped to fellowship with them a bit. Then it was time to get down to business.
The three of us decided to go together (I felt too scattered to go alone) and Miha was going to translate for Tim. But everyone looked so busy it was intimidating. It was hard to decide whom to approach. Eventually we chose a teenaged boy and girl more on the outskirts. Vasile* and Laura* did not mind talking so we gave them tracts and tried to provoke them to really think about what it means to believe in Jesus and to have a real relationship with Him. The conversation had a few moments of life, but was pretty one-sided. They didn’t seem to have ever thought about the questions we were asking them and only Laura was brave enough to even try to answer. Vasile sat quietly reading the first pages of the tract. I don’t know how the others felt, but I felt so clumsy in expressing my thoughts, like a very dull and stupid instrument. Things that we freely talk about in other contexts became extremely hard to articulate. My brain felt filled with glue. And at the end I think we gave them too much information. They had stopped even trying to process it. So we left them alone.
After that, we moved to a different area of the park. I wanted to sit down and collect my thoughts, and pray a bit, so Tim and Miha started off alone. They found a guy, Liviu, that Tim had shared his testimony with about ten years ago, who still remembered what Tim had told him. God began to bless. Then another couple, Sara* and David* joined them. Meanwhile I was sitting on the wall, watching all the people go by, holding in my hand the scriptures I had printed from the Orthodox Bible to give out. (We had thought that maybe people would receive them more easily than they receive tracts.)
I could see that the conversation with Tim and Miha was going well, just by their relaxed and involved postures and I thought if I wasn’t going to talk to anyone I could at least give out my scriptures, so I began going up to people and offering them a “gift for Sfanta Maria day!” I was glad I decided to do that when I was able to give a group of three gesticulating deaf women salvation scriptures. I would not have been able to have a conversation with them, in any case.
That led me up to where Tim and Miha were talking and I joined the group and was introduced. Sara immediately began talking with me, curious about how long we’d been in Romania, etc. She was very friendly and spoke excellent English. I found out that she and her husband were presently working abroad for a software company and that they were just briefly in town. They seemed much more successful than the average Romanian and a lot less traditional as well. She brought up the holiday and their plans for later that evening and that gave me a way to transition to spiritual things.
Sara was a modern Romanian. She was pretty open about not being religious, but she said she prayed every night for God to show her the right path. I asked if she realized Jesus had claimed to BE the way, the truth and the life. Had she seriously studied the New Testament accounts that describe the way He was with people, the things He said and did and the testimony of his crucifixion and resurrection?
The conversation was lively, especially when I mentioned that the Spirit of God feels jealousy for us when we prefer idols. She was startled because we usually consider jealousy a negative emotion. And that led to deeper discussion. I was really enjoying the conversation and became a bit passionate. But from the moment I saw a flicker of conviction in Susana’s eyes, it was like a metal grating rolled down closing up shop, and she began to resist, as if to prove to me that she was not in need of a Savior. She declared that she tries to fulfill God’s moral demands and thinks she has succeeded.
I heard in her protest an echo of the rich young rulers’ words: “All these things I have kept from my youth,” so I related that incident and how Jesus had exposed the young ruler’s misconception by giving him a test that uncovered his true God, his possessions. Sara listened, but flatly told me, “Well, that’s not my problem!” and there was an awkward silence. Then she interrupted her husband and reminded him that they needed to meet someone.
I was left realizing that something had gone wrong with the conversation, but I didn’t quite know what. Had I been too passionate and scared her? Had I come off as self-righteous or condemning? Had I missed the main issues by not listening hard enough? Or was she simply rebelling against the work of the Holy Spirit in her heart convicting her of sin? As David reluctantly broke off his conversation with Tim, I asked her if I had offended her. She denied it and said that she was very open-minded. But I was sad that the conversation had ended as it had when it had seemed so promising at the beginning.
Today, praying for Laura and Sara, I was able to take heart, realizing that God is able to guard the gospel seeds that fall on good soil and to make them grow, in spite of the clumsiness of the sower. And what better way for Him to get glory, than if the Saras or the Lauras would come to know Him in spite of our flub-ups and failures. Does this experience deter me from wanting to go out with the team? Not at all. God has chosen the foolish things of the world. His power is perfected in weakness. And I suspect He still has a lot to teach me on Friday nights.
*Names changed
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