Second Devotion taught by Krista Hahne at the Crihalma Women’s Retreat
I hope after yesterday’s studies you all woke up thinking of the Cross, and ready to sit at Jesus’ feet. Wasn’t Mary a great example for us in the way she loved the Lord with all her mind? And yet, we saw, it probably wasn’t easy for her to ignore the disapproval of others in order to know Jesus more. In fact Mary’s desire to know Jesus and her hunger to do His will, was tested in more ways than one.
And the same will be true for us. Don’t expect the path of discipleship to be cross-less. In fact Jesus warned his disciples, “In the world you will have tribulation!” The question is, how will you respond when it comes? Will it drive you off the path of following Jesus? Will you use it as an excuse for sin and disobedience? Or will you use it as a way to know Jesus more?
For today’s devotion I want to share with you encouragement I mostly gained from a study I heard from Carolyn Mahaney. That study was like a word straight out of heaven for me just when I needed it most. It’s found in John 21, starting in verse 15. This passage records a conversation that the Lord Jesus had with Peter during the days after Jesus had risen from the dead. Anyway, on this particular day, Peter and seven other disciples had gone fishing, but caught nothing. Suddenly Jesus had appeared on the shore, told them to cast their net on the other side of the boat, and miraculously their nets had filled. Then they had realized it was Jesus. When they had gotten to the shore, they found that Jesus was already grilling fish for them so that they could eat breakfast together. They had eaten, and it was after breakfast that this conversation had taken place. But let’s read the verses and see what happens:
“When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord’ you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”
Now remember, that on that night that Jesus was betrayed, Peter had denied Jesus three times, after boasting about how he would never forsake him. This unexpected failure had broken him and greatly humbled him. Peter had already met privately with Jesus, where he had repented and been forgiven, but I imagine he was still feeling shaken and wondering if there was still a place for him on the team of the apostles. So we see a very precious moment between Jesus and Peter.
Did you notice in V. 17 how sad Peter got when Jesus kept asking him, “Do you love me?” I’m sure his three denials were echoing in his ears. Jesus was letting Peter confess his love for Jesus exactly as many times as he had denied him. And when He also repeated “Feed my lambs!” three times, how could Peter doubt he had been forgiven and restored to ministry?
So this is the setting for what follows, which is the main thing we are going to focus on. After revealing to Peter what his life’s work will be—feeding Jesus’ sheep—suddenly in vs. 18, Jesus tells him what it will cost. He says,
“Truly, truly I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.”
Just by the words, “truly, truly” in v. 18, Peter knows that Jesus is saying something really important. But nothing could have prepared him for Jesus’ next words. He says,
“When you were younger you did whatever you wanted. You chose what you wanted for yourself. But I am calling you now to something you didn’t choose, don’t want but can’t change. I am calling you to crucifixion.
See to us, the phrase, “you will stretch out your hands might sound like a kind of riddle, but in those days they knew: Stretching out your hands is what happened at crucifixion! That is verified in verse. 19.
“(This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.)”
I don’t know if Peter had ever thought about his old age before this point. Or how he imagined it would be. Maybe he imagined sitting by a warm fire, with a blanket on his lap, surrounded by children in the faith, and sharing God’s word with them. But now, in one sentence that dream is shattered. Caring for Jesus’ lambs will be costly. Faithfulness will bring crucifixion: a humiliating and excruciating death.
What would you be thinking if the Lord said this to you? Peter is probably stunned. Maybe he’s thinking, “If I couldn’t withstand the scrutiny of a slave girl without denying Jesus, how on earth will I face crucifixion?” Anyway, this news must have jolted Peter even more coming after the painful interview with Jesus he had just gone through, and you kind of expect Jesus’ next words to be: “Fear not, Peter!” Or a promise of great reward, or an explanation at least. But, what does Jesus say next? Instead of consolation we hear a command. Three words in Romanian. What are they? They’re in v. 19.
Jesus tells Peter, “Follow me!”
Why did Jesus deal with Peter this way? Jesus knew that what Peter needed most in that moment was not handholding. He needed real strength for what was ahead. And that’s what these words were.
See, the words “follow me” were already familiar to Peter. Jesus had spoken them to Peter when He had first called him to be his disciple, saying “follow Me and I will make you fishers of men.” Then Peter had left everything to obey and though following Jesus was costly, Peter had found that following also meant the closest possible fellowship and intimacy with Jesus. Was Jesus offering Peter anything less now?
Then, like we saw yesterday, Jesus had also taught the multitude, “I am the light of the world. He who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” So the road toward the cross would not be dark for Peter. Jesus would be there.
And had not Jesus also warned them, “Whoever desires to come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me?” Jesus had never hidden the costs involved in walking with Him. But He had also made it plain that the costs could never compete with the gain.
So, the counsel Peter most needed to hear at that moment, was that he would find everything he would need, both for crucifixion and a lifetime of dying to himself in ministry, in following Jesus. Yes, Peter did need the comfort of Jesus, but that would only come as he walked with Jesus in obedient faith. As he did that, his life would be shaped and filled by the One who had already endured the cross, who knew all its terrors, and yet who had come out of them victorious. So Jesus tells him: “You’re going to be crucified. But follow me!”
Now how does this relate to our lives? Well, maybe we haven’t ever been told by Jesus that we are literally going to be crucified, but I think each one of us, like Peter, can relate to something in our lives that as Carolyn Mahaney so realistically described is something we didn’t choose, don’t want, and can’t change, something that causes us suffering. The lady that originally taught this study said that for her that thing was the loss of a friendship. For you it might be a physical condition or chronic illness. For someone else it might be singleness or widowhood. Or having a husband who is working in another country, or is a difficult companion. It might be poverty.
But just like the scriptures say of the thing Peter couldn’t change, God has an awesome purpose for that thing in your life. Look again at the end of v. 19.
“This He said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God!”
Do you understand what this means? That thing that we would so like to get rid of has been assigned to us by God as the specific circumstances through which He has planned that we glorify Him. Think about that. Understanding that can change your whole perspective. It can change your response from self-pity to faith and joy. Unfortunately, many times we don’t view those things that way. And then the temptation comes to do what Peter does next.
Peter turns around and sees John following them and in verse 21 we read: ‘When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus,
“Lord, what about this man?”
See what Peter does? In the shock of discovering what he is called to suffer, instead of keeping His eyes on Jesus, and thinking deeply about the One he is to follow, Peter’s first impulse is to ask Jesus, “But what about John?” Let’s read verse 21: Jesus’ answer is so direct and so powerful.
“Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!”
In other words, what I do with my other disciples is my business. Your business is to follow me! Obviously it is not wrong to care about the welfare of other believers. That is not what Jesus was rebuking Peter for. But it was wrong for Peter to compare himself with John. And we’re so prone to do that aren’t we? We say, “Lord, why does she get to eat anything she wants and she stays skinny, where I just look at chocolate, and gain weight.” Or, “why did she get picked to do x, y or z, while I was overlooked?” Or, “Why does her husband always make money, while we never seem to make ends meet?” And on and on and on. Thinking this way is not harmless. It is futile and destructive and that’s why Jesus stopped Peter from doing it. Thinking this way robs you of your joy. It destroys your peace. It distorts your view of a wise and loving God who is ruling the circumstances of your life for your good and His glory. And when we start doing it, we need to hear Jesus’ words of gentle rebuke: What is that to you? You follow me.
Remember how I said when I first heard this study it was like a word from heaven for me? In fact it spoke to me so clearly about a situation in my life that I begged Tim to listen to the study with me. All he could do after hearing it was shake his head in amazement at the powerful way it spoke to our need.
See we had a situation in our own lives that we didn’t choose, didn’t want but couldn’t change. Some dear friends and co-workers in the church had suddenly decided to leave Valcea and go live in England. We didn’t understand their decision and we didn’t see how it could be a good one for the church. The more we thought about it the harder the road ahead looked to us. We constantly thought about it and tried to understand what God was doing in their lives. That brought nothing to our own hearts except confusion and deeper sadness. And then we heard this study. And it was like I heard Jesus’ voice speaking directly to me. “Stop worrying about what I’m doing with them. Let it go. You follow me on the road I have laid out for you. This is the road on which I have planned for you to experience more of me. And this is the road on which you will glorify me.”
That word freed me and gave me back my joy. How did Peter respond to the Lord’s rebuke? John doesn’t tell us. But after many years of following Jesus faithful, he wrote these words:
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” (I Peter 4:12-13)
Clearly for Peter, the cross-shadowed path appointed for Him in the sovereign wisdom of God had become a path of sweet fellowship with Christ. And he had a joy on it that was fed by an unearthly hope. So today, if your own path is uncomfortable, if there are things in your life that you didn’t choose, don’t want and can’t change, don’t turn those things into an excuse for sin or a cause for self-pity. Don’t keep comparing yourself with others. Realize Jesus is telling you the same thing He told Peter: “You follow Me!”
Will you follow Him?
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